Enjoy your first night in hospital

No matter how exhausted you might be, you hope you’ll be on cloud nine after you’ve given birth.

The worst bit – labour – is over, your newborn baby is in your arms and your loved ones are gathered around.

But that first night in hospital can be tough. When I gave birth to my son Owen, now 10 months, I was lonely and anxious about breastfeeding. My husband had been ushered away (visiting hours ended at 7pm) and there were several red-faced babies on the ward yelling their heads off.

Exciting as it was to finally cuddle my baby, I could have done without a sleepless night trying to get the hang of breastfeeding. Owen was incredibly windy and brought up his milk all the time. Although there were midwives on hand to help, they were generally too busy to spend more than a second showing me how to burp him.

A couple of times during the night, a nurse took him away for checks on his jaundice levels. Relief flooded through me each time. At last, I could catch half an hour’s kip. To be honest, if there had been a nursery in the hospital where I could have left him, I would have done. I was that desperate for sleep. By the time my husband arrived the following morning, I burst into tears and declared myself a terrible mother.

Get some rest

Just because mine was a less-than-perfect entry into motherhood, it doesn’t mean it always has to be like that. A few clever additions to my hospital bag (earplugs and an eye mask) would have made a world of difference. Next time, I’ll be better prepared; I certainly won’t feel guilty for prioritising sleep and I’ll be more confident about asking for help from the midwives.

Annika, 27, from east London, was lucky enough to get a decent rest after the birth of Abi, now seven months. Along with a bag of snacks and chocolate treats to boost her energy levels, she says the best thing she did was arrange to stay in one of the hospital’s private rooms.

‘It cost £100 for the night but it really was worth every penny,’ she says. ‘It’s hard
to cope with anything until you’ve had some sleep. Baby Abi slept for six hours straight immediately after she was born. I felt almost human by the time I got home.’

Sue Jacob, from the Royal College of Midwives, says it’s likely that your baby will have a good sleep for several hours after the birth, but it’s important to offer him your breast before he goes to sleep, and to wake him up after roughly five hours for another feed – if you are lucky enough for his nap to last that long. However long he sleeps for, try to doze at the same time – getting a decent rest will help you cope with the challenges of caring for and feeding a newborn.

Some first-time mums prefer to spend those first few hours on a ward so they can glean tips from other mums. You might not have a clue how to change a baby, but the woman next to you could be on her fourth child and happy to help. ‘Often women stay friends after they’ve met on a ward – you miss out on that if you’re on your own,’ says Sue.

Be prepared

Of course, not everyone goes to hospital in the first place. Depending on where you live, between two and five per cent of all births are home births, with the rest taking place in a hospital or birth centre (a halfway house between your home and a hospital).

Even if you deliver at a birth centre or have a home birth, there’s a chance you might need to go to hospital afterwards if there’s a complication or you need any kind of specialist postnatal treatment. Even then, you probably won’t end up spending too long there. According to NHS statistics, 50% of women leave hospital either the same day as they gave birth or the day after.

‘Some mums stay a bit longer because they’ve had a difficult labour or lots of stitches, or perhaps they have a very fretful baby and the midwife wants to keep an eye on them both,’ says Sue. If you deliver in the evening or during the night in a hospital, you’ll be kept in until the morning.

Whatever type of birth you are hoping to have, it’s good to be prepared for a stint on your own in hospital with your newborn at some point, since strict visiting hours often mean that partners are sent home. Pack your mobile in your hospital bag, or a list of numbers, so at least you can make some calls.

Ask for help

To prepare for a stint on a postnatal ward, the advice that most mums give is to bring your own food and toiletries and make the most of the experts on hand. ‘If you’re having any problems bathing, changing or feeding your baby, ask for help,’ recommends Sue.

The first few days are important for establishing breastfeeding so ask a midwife to check that your baby has a decent latch before you go home. ‘Feeding little and often is the message. Your baby’s stomach is still very small and you want to prime your breasts to produce a decent supply later on,’ says Anna Burbidge, chair of breastfeeding support group La Leche League (laleche.org.uk).

Before heading home, your baby will be checked by a paediatrician or, in some cases, a midwife will be qualified to do it. Then it’s home to bond with your new family member. For some, that can be a daunting experience.

Sarah, 34, from Cambridge, mum to three month old Evan, remembers feeling worried about the lack of support once she was home. ‘I knew a community midwife would visit the following day, which was reassuring. Until then, I wrote down any questions I had,’ she says.

When Owen and I arrived home, we spent the following days getting the hang of nappy changes and perfecting burping positions for his wind. Before long, we were experts and I could almost change his nappy in my sleep. Maybe next time it’ll be me doling out advice to other new mums on the ward.

Think ahead for a calmer stay

Bring a notepad and pen so you can jot down any advice given by experts. You might think you’ll remember it, but after a long labour and very little sleep, your memory won’t be at its best.

• Find out about private room options. Some hospitals offer them on a first-come, first-served basis. At others, you have to pay.

• Ask your partner or other visitors to bring along some snacks or maybe a takeaway meal in case you are hungry outside of the hospital’s set mealtimes.

• Avoid the bed near the bathroom if you are put on a ward. Otherwise you’ll be disturbed by the comings and goings of other mums all night.

• Pack a sleep kit to improve your chances of getting some rest. Include earplugs, an eye mask to block out hospital strip-lighting, a nightie and a toothbrush.

• Add an MP3 player to your list if you’d rather listen to music than other people’s babies crying.